Okay, I admit it! I want to come off as being well-polished. I believe that I've always liked math more than something like English Literature because there was always a way that you could check your answer and know that you are correct. My insecurities are kept in check, and I do not need to be transparent or vulnerable.
As an adult, I am still reluctant to be vulnerable. However, I know that when I am vulnerable, that is when I grow and learn the most. Although I know this as being true, it does not make it any easier, though. I believe this is one BIG reason why I have been hesitant to publish any of my thoughts - I really wanted to make sure it was, well, perfect (note the gap between postings). Pretty ridiculous, huh? Nonetheless, true.
As humbling as this may be for me, I also recognize that I am grateful that the Lord to give me this area that I know that my confidence needs to come from Him, not me. I also appreciate the many opportunities that this has allowed me to relate with students that go through the same trauma about being polished vs. vulnerable. We do live in a culture where performance is recognized more than progress or courage to try something new.
One doesn't need to look further than the typical student considering to go out for high school extracurricular activities like performing arts or sports. For most students, it is extremely intimidating to even tryout if you have not played organized sports or club sports before. So, my prayer is that I would have the courage and the faith of a child - untainted by the expectations of this world.
What freedom would you experience if you were unafraid of being "unpolished" to others?